The Stripe Club | Christmas Striped Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear Briefs Size:5X 5 inseam Ball Hammock® pouch

5 inseam Ball Hammock® pouch underwear with long legs are ready to cover your thighs in the most patriotic fashion

it was designed for 3 specific reasons:

The only way to protect yourself from an alien invasion is to wear this pair of bikini underwear covered in intergalactic warriors

This is the type of jacket your grandpappy wouldn't lend out because he knew he'd never get it back

And if you are at an establishment that does not serve piña coladas

The Stripe Club | Christmas Striped Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear Briefs Size:5X 5 inseam Ball Hammock® pouchCome on, thats just Ball Hammock Pouch Briefs with some red and green stripes. So lame. Guess again, jerk! The festive color palette and pattern will make your body look like a present waiting to be unwrapped. And the horizontal stripes will accentuate your curves in all the right places. Oh, and there are also white stripes, idiot.